About Cinderella by Roald Dahl
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About Cinderella’ by Roald Dahl (Famous Funny Poems)

About Cinderella’ by Roald Dahl, this poem was aimed at children and the clear, pleasing arrangement fits impeccably with the retold fairy tales. It gives the text a carefree sing song-like tone, even when the subject matter becomes dark.

About Cinderella by Roald Dahl

About Cinderella’ by Roald Dahl

Cinderella’ by Roald Dahl, was published in the year 1982 in his collection Revolting Rhymes. It is a mockery-based book of poems basically for children, and was, as many of his works were, illustrated humorously. For this and more, keep reading.

The collection concentrates on a retelling of folk or fairy tales, such as The Three Little Pigs and Goldilocks and the Three Bears. He presents alternatives to well-established events and alters characters to change the narrative, always with a surprising and pleasing ending.

Dhal chose to use the rhyme scheme of aabbccdd, alternating end sounds as he saw fit. This most basic rhyming pattern, which is generally ignored by modern and contemporary writers, is wholly appropriate for the subject matter and intended audience. You can read the full poem below.

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1. Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf

As soon as Wolf began to feel
That he would like a decent meal,
He went and knocked on Grandma’s door.
When Grandma opened it, she saw
The sharp white teeth, the horrid grin,
And Wolfie said, ‘May I come in?’
Poor Grandmamma was terrified,
‘He’s going to eat me up!’ she cried.
And she was absolutely right.
He ate her up in one big bite.
But Grandmamma was small and tough,
And Wolfie wailed, ‘That’s not enough!

I haven’t yet begun to feel
That I have had a decent meal!’
He ran around the kitchen yelping,
‘I’ve got to have a second helping!’

Then added with a frightful leer,
‘I’m therefore going to wait right here
Till Little Miss Red Riding Hood
Comes home from walking in the wood.’

He quickly put on Grandma’s clothes,
(Of course he hadn’t eaten those).
He dressed himself in coat and hat.
He put on shoes, and after that,
He even brushed and curled his hair,
Then sat himself in Grandma’s chair.

In came the little girl in red.
She stopped. She stared. And then she said,
‘What great big ears you have, Grandma.’
‘All the better to hear you with,’
the Wolf replied.
‘What great big eyes you have, Grandma.’
said Little Red Riding Hood.
‘All the better to see you with,’
the Wolf replied.
He sat there watching her and smiled.
He thought, I’m going to eat this child.
Compared with her old Grandmamma,
She’s going to taste like caviar.

Then Little Red Riding Hood said, ‘
But Grandma, what a lovely great big
furry coat you have on.’

‘That’s wrong!’ cried Wolf.
‘Have you forgot
To tell me what BIG TEETH I’ve got?
Ah well, no matter what you say,
I’m going to eat you anyway.’

The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
She whips a pistol from her knickers.
She aims it at the creature’s head,
And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.

A few weeks later, in the wood,
I came across Miss Riding Hood.
But what a change! No cloak of red,
No silly hood upon her head.
She said, ‘Hello, and do please note
My lovely furry wolfskin coat.’

By Roald Dahl

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2. The Pig

In England once there lived a big

And wonderfully clever pig.

To everybody it was plain

That Piggy had a massive brain.

He worked out sums inside his head,

There was no book he hadn’t read.

He knew what made an airplane fly,

He knew how engines worked and why.

He knew all this, but in the end

One question drove him round the bend:

He simply couldn’t puzzle out

What LIFE was really all about.

What was the reason for his birth?

Why was he placed upon this earth?

His giant brain went round and round.

Alas, no answer could be found.

Till suddenly one wondrous night.

All in a flash he saw the light.

He jumped up like a ballet dancer

And yelled, ‘By gum, I’ve got the answer! ‘

‘They want my bacon slice by slice

‘To sell at a tremendous price!

‘They want my tender juicy chops

‘To put in all the butcher’s shops!

‘They want my pork to make a roast

‘And that’s the part’ll cost the most!

‘They want my sausages in strings!

‘They even want my chitterlings!

The butcher’s shop! The carving knife!

‘That is the reason for my life! ‘

Such thoughts as these are not designed

To give a pig great peace of mind.

Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,

A pail of pigswill in his hand,

And piggy with a mighty roar,

Bashes the farmer to the floor

Now comes the rather grisly bit

So let’s not make too much of it,

Except that you must understand

That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,

He ate him up from head to toe,

Chewing the pieces nice and slow.

It took an hour to reach the feet,

Because there was so much to eat,

And when he finished, Pig, of course,

Felt absolutely no remorse.

Slowly he scratched his brainy head

And with a little smile he said,

‘I had a fairly powerful hunch

‘That he might have me for his lunch.

‘And so, because I feared the worst,

‘I thought I’d better eat him first.’

By Roald Dahl

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3. Cinderella

The prince leans to the girl in scarlet heels,
Her green eyes slant, hair flaring in a fan
Of silver as the rondo slows; now reels
Begin on tilted violins to span

The whole revolving tall glass palace hall
Where guests slide gliding into light like wine;
Rose candles flicker on the lilac wall
Reflecting in a million flagons’ shine,

And glided couples all in whirling trance
Follow holiday revel begun long since,
Until near twelve the strange girl all at once
Guilt-stricken halts, pales, clings to the prince

As amid the hectic music and cocktail talk
She hears the caustic ticking of the clock.

By Sylvia Plath

Cinderella so far has been a popular tale mostly enjoyed among children. About Cinderella’ by Roald Dahl brings this out in a different way to suit poetry.

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