harry potter puns

75 Harry Potter Puns Worthy of a Hogwarts Education

The Harry Potter series includes romance, perilous adventures, and humor all at once. So if you want to keep the fun continuing and spread the love, this collection of puns, from Harry Potter is your one-stop shop for brightening your day.

harry potter puns

For those of us raised on the Harry Potter books, J.K. Rowling’s cherished world of magic and spells helped define a meaningful portion of our youth.

Harry and his companions, Ron and Hermoine, were being silly kids who occasionally made us smile when they weren’t rushing for their lives.

Without further ado, why don’t you scroll down below and take a look at the funny puns we found? Remember, any day that includes a Harry Potter pun is a beautiful day!

Best Harry Potter’s Puns

harry potter puns

1. Enough Puns Today, I am Sirius.

2. Slytherins are on big on Snapchat.

3. Wizards have a keen of Spell!!

4. Spells comes in all Snapes and sizes.

5. What do you call a postal carrier that can speak to packages? A parcel tongue.

6. They never said Hogwarts was going to be Weasly.

7. If a wizard gets robbed by a Muggle, has he been Muggled?

8. Why did Severus Snape stand in the middle of the road? So you’ll never know which side he’s on.

9. Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad professor? Because he can’t control his pupils.

10. What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord? A Volt-demort.

11. How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash? With quit-itch.

12. Do you like Harry Potter? Because I a-Dumbledore you!

13. Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses? Nobody nose.

14. How many Slytherins does it take to stir a cauldron? Just one. She puts her wand in and the cauldron revolves around her.

15. Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook? Because he has only followers, not friends.

16. Are you a Dementor? You just took my breath away.

17. It’s important not to jump to the Ron conclusion!

18. But of curse, magic is hard.

19. I chant get enough of Harry Potter.

20. Owl ask the questions in this potions class.

21. Don’t be so muggle-headed about it.

22. You have to admit, he’s looking a little Hagrid.

23. Shush, it’s time to remain quietus.

24. You never want to walk in the Diagon Alley alone.

More Jokes From Harry Potter

harry potter puns

25. Cedric Diggory’s death was a tragic accident! Sounds like your birth!

26. Why doesn’t Black laugh? He’s Sirius.

27. Why was everyone avoiding Hermione? She was Grangerous.

28. What’s a dementors theme song? “You take my breath away”

29. What will get you detention in Hogwarts? Cursing in class.

30. Why does George need a nap? He had bread and butterbeer.

31. What’d they say when Harry got the snitch? He’s a keeper.

32. What do you get if you mix Harry Potter and Hagrid? Hairy Potter

33. Why do wizards lock their doors at night? They’re afraid to get muggled

34. How can wizards stop itching? Quidditch.

35. Why is Fred not going into the Chamber of Secrets? He’s a-Fred!

36. Why doesn’t a wizard get lost? They are a wand-erer.

Puns by Ravenclaw & Hufflepuff

While dishing out Harry Potter’s puns, You must include a little Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff! Here are some of them!

37. Lockhart, I was trying to ask you a question.

38. When you are a Hufflepuff, you need to make sure every day you’re hufflin’.

39.Please don’t Chang the subject!

40. You really shouldn’t be Sprouting in class.

41. Ravenclaws aren’t Luna-tics. I assure you.

42. You might have a Helena of a time being a Ravenclaw.

43. Don’t just Sprout out the answer in divination.

44. It’s hard to Flitwick a car into your purse without magic.

45. Don’t get shufflepuffed on the moving staircase

46. I just Lovegood you! You Luna-tic.

Hilarious Hogwart’s Pickup lines

harry potter puns

One of the funniest magic schools might also be among the best. Discovr a collection of humorous Hogwarts pickup lines below, that will make your day more interesting.

47. Why was Sirius banned from Hogwarts? For black magic.

48. Why didn’t the students get 10s on their papers? They needed 9 3/4s.

49. How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble-door.

50. Why do students avoid McGonagall in the hallway? She’s catty.

51. Why is studying at Hogwarts confusing? Students aren’t sure witch-craft to choose.

52. What’s the biggest problem in Hogwarts School? Spelling errors.

53. Why is everyone scared of the post office at Hogwarts? They speak parcel-tongue.

54. Why doesn’t Hogwarts promote externships? They don’t have de-mentors.

55. Why is studying at Hogwarts confusing? Students aren’t sure witch-craft to choose.

56. What mints does Hogwarts promote? Enchant mints.

57. How did Snape get back to his office? He was Slytherin.

Puns from Snapey Slytherin

Let’s discuss the Slytherins for a bit. These funny puns below would definitely get you rolling on the floor!

58. There are Severus factors you need to consider when fighting Voldemort.

59. It’s probably best to be Lestranged from that family

60. Draco’s friends are a bit Crabbey.

61. Draco’s friends were Slytherining idiots

62. You’re in for a Severus talking to if you haven’t read Harry Potter.

63. When you get sorted, you need to make a Snape decision to become Slytherin.

64. You have to baron mind that Slytherins can go bad.

65. In for a Severus talking to if you haven’t read Harry Potter.

66. We need to Riddle the world of Death Eaters.

67. I heard it through the Snapevine.

68. Up in Voldemort’s family was a Gaunting task.

Puns from Great Gryffindor

Let’s get things a little spiced up with these hilarious pickup lines from Great Gryffindor.

69. Why do Gryffindors exercise? All those Gryffindorphins.

70. What did one Gryffindor say to another? I Gryffin-adore you!

71. Gryffindors aren’t known for jumping to the Ron conclusions.

72. Why did Dumbledore’s phoenix not speak? He had a Fawkes tongue.

73. Potter gets himself into a lot of Harry situations.

74. What do you call the center of the orange in Hogwarts? The Neville of the orange.

75. Fred is a bit of a Weasley character.

These funny Harry Potter puns exist merely to remind you of certain book characters or plot points that you may have forgotten.

If these puns really crack you up, you can check out other funny puns here.

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